Gosh ya’ll have you seen the revival taking place all over our world? It’s incredible. The one in Asbury University in Kentucky has sparked more around our country. I’m seeing evidence of this in my own church and in Celebrate Recovery. For those of you who are new here, I’m privileged to be a part of a great addiction and hang up program called Celebrate Recovery it is a biblical 12 step program to help you get past your addictions. Well, the last two weeks have been incredible. The testimonies and outpouring of the Holy Spirit have stirred so many and blessed my heart and spirit. Our stories of God’s supernatural healing within us are SO POWERFUL! Not only powerful for our healing but powerful for others healing as well.
One thing I noticed in all the testimonies was that the inner child had been wounded in some area. For myself healing her was the best thing and most crucial part of my journey. I had been on my healing journey for a while and was checking the boxes off my list. I’m a list person. I make a list for everything, so when it came to all that I needed to accomplish in my healing it was quite the extensive list. I had forgiven my mother in particular years and years ago and did everything I could to repair our terrible relationship when she was diagnosed with cancer. I took her to all her appointments, chemo treatments and even painted nails of all the ladies in the treatment room to make them all feel good about themselves. On her death bed I begged her to love me for who I was and not who she wanted me to be. I had failed again. Or so it seemed. It was in the last two years that I realized forgiving her was not the root of my healing but actually the meeting of that inner child that was so wounded and so desperately sought her love and was denied access. I met that reckoning the day I took my maiden name back after 38 years of being everyone but ME. I wish that I had realized this years ago, but we have to trust God’s timing. Our childhood trauma, if not addressed, resurfaces in our relationships all during our life. This has been the continual and root issue in my codependency which was the determining factor in my terrible relationships. Inner child wounds can be neglect, trauma, abuse, or honestly any other emotional pain.
I first had to acknowledge my inner child that meant I sat with her and acknowledged the issue at that point which for me was rejection of who I truly was, unmet needs of unconditional love, insecurity that I wasn’t enough or worthy of love, and finally I held shame for all the other feelings of inadequacy at that time and all through my adult life. While I sat there with her, I told her how worthy, smart, wonderful, and beautiful little girl she is. Sounds crazy but as I did this and prayed, I felt so much peace and contentment with myself. God knew when and how I needed to heal, and that moment was a Kimberly be still and know and heal moment for sure.
Healing is never linear, and I still find myself veering into the ditches of wondering if I’m worthy, but God always has my back and puts me right back where I need to be. The checked boxes of healing have concluded but it’s a journey that never ends. There are always layers and bits and pieces that pop up that we on this journey have to sit with and conquer. The inner child healing was definitely a much needed and crucial portion of the healing journey. We must remember that God defines us not our past, addictions, jobs, or anyone else. Only God. It’s easy to allow the enemy to tell us that we are not enough even we we are healing and growing. For myself, watching so many hurt and wounded people come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and becoming His child the key in true solid healing of any past pain, trauma, or addiction.
I’m so very grateful to be apart of a program that shows the community a love and solid support that only God Himself can show others. I’m also very grateful for you and you being apart of this healing journey with me. Praying blessings for you until next time.