Here we are with three months left in 2024, how will you finish this year? I pray that we all finish these months well and safely. I’m still working on my goals for this year one being Our Rising Hope, LLC life coaching services. If you are a frequent visitor to this page, you’ve seen the additional information about my life coaching services. Although not officially official, it’s getting there one step at a time. I hope to have all pieces of this puzzle complete by the end of the year. Of course, there’s the usual I want to lose 20 pounds and make endless lists for the holiday to dos. Yes, all that is on my list and of course to continue shining a light on abuses and healing. While that’s a hefty list of to-dos before the end of the year one more item has to be placed on their and that’s to continue to heal and grow.
Since October is known for Domestic Violence Month let’s revisit this a bit. A person will usually allow the abuser back into their lives an average of seven times. Seven times is one time too many. I was a blessed woman to have survived but some don’t survive. It’s imperative to heal after these relationships because if not that will be the exact relationship you get into again. Repeatedly, if not healed.
There are several types of abuse such as physical, mental, emotional, financial, sexual, and verbal. I have endured them all. And with God’s great mercy and love, I survived them all. Our God is greater than anything we’ve done or have had done to us! He’s rescued me from every bad decision, and poor choice, and despite all my shortcomings He’s loved me and never left my side. If today you are reading this and are in an abusive relationship, God’s with you too. There’s help in our communities that can and will protect you and your children.
Here are some ways that we can prevent these situations in our lives. Boundaries are key here.
- Valuing my opinions
- Not compromising my personal values
- Knowing my personal needs and wants and actually communicating them.
- Saying no instead of yes, all the time.
- Staying focused on my personal growth and healing
- Trusting my decisions
- Not allowing others to deter my direction on those decisions
- Know who I am and what I want
- Keeping track of red flags instead of ignoring them.
Being healed before entering into new relationships, not hopping from one to another person unhealed will ensure that you are in the relationship for the right reasons, and with boundaries in place you will be on alert if those boundaries are being sidestepped.
Having an accountability person to meet or be around this new person in your life. Going slow and getting to know the other person on all levels before moving forward. Have real conversations on topics and see where this person is on topics like religion, politics, family life, their healing, and past relationships. If the boundaries are not honored and you see red flags, STOP talking and seeing this person. These are all ways to ensure that you are not setting yourself up for another abusive relationship.
Also, remember that if you do have a family member or friend in these situations you can be supportive and love them although they might not get away from their abuser. This will only happen when they are ready, you can’t force them because they will resist and shut you out. I did this myself.
Please don’t lose hope! There is healing, happiness, and a joyful life after abuse! All things are possible with our God! I seriously had no idea what my life would be like until I started intentionally healing and now, I look forward to what God has in store for me with each new day. I’m so grateful for my continued healing and thriving.
As we finish this year together let’s hold tight to God’s light and love. There is so much uncertainty in our world right now. All eyes must be focused on Him. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.“ I’m so grateful for His Word and equally thankful for each of you on this journey with me.