Hello sweet friends. The transition into my new job position has been a good one. I’ve met some wonderful people, and they have all helped and encouraged me daily. Not as scary as I thought it would be, but all the changes triggered some anxiety. This of course is normal, I mean I did leave a job with so many friends, and luckily, I’m making new ones.
In this process, I have been inundated with forgiveness posts, devotions, thoughts, and even a word from my pastor. Along with these words and thoughts were also folks around me trying to forgive others. I sat with these and realized all my folks that I’ve been forgiving were definite patterns in my past and present. That has been a hard pill to swallow. For myself, the ones who hurt me the most of course have been those I have loved. These folks aren’t so easy to forgive and be done. Wipe your hands off and move to the next one. Nope, not that easy. I forgive daily because I need God to help me forgive them totally. For myself, I want to have peace in my heart that only comes from laying down all that hurt, pain, and sometimes even bitterness. I mean we are told to forgive as we’ve been forgiven. Don’t quote this number but I was told in college that forgiveness is mentioned 49 times in the New Testament. Obviously, this is an important part of our faith and calling from God. Obedience to God is one of my main reasons for forgiveness but my mind, body, and peace are also a huge reason for my daily forgiving. Don’t get me wrong here, sometimes I slack and feel more contempt than other times, and believe me my list has grown daily as well. The daily “Lord please help me forgive ……..” has grown. I do believe that even if we have to make a daily request for help for this it is freeing us from holding onto the pain and possible bitterness in our hearts. I also believe that without this act of forgiveness, we won’t move into God’s perfect will for us. We have to let go of what was to be able to grasp what is ahead for us in His plan. Last week I made a video where I wrote, “Today, I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized or because you acknowledged the pain you caused but because my soul deserves peace”. This statement really says it all. Most of the people in my life that I have to forgive daily I will never have closure from. And that’s ok. God is my closure. Every day He reminds me that I’m His, He’s working for my good and my hope for a brighter future. Maybe one day that list will be shorter. Maybe one day the hurts won’t hurt anymore. Until then I’m on this healing journey with God and you folks. I’m grateful for all of you being on this journey with me. Blessings until the next time.