Happy November friends! I am one of those who wait until after Halloween to bring out the Christmas decorations! Yes, I started last weekend and am almost finished decorating for Christmas! I love my decorations and they make me happy, so I do it! Not that I don’t love Thanksgiving, but I believe that Thanksgiving should be a state of mind every day all year and honestly celebrating Christ should be too. Anyway, these past couple of weeks have been trying to say the least. During this time, I heard a couple of stories that really bothered me, so I wanted to write about it today.
My own healing journey has made me much more aware of the need to detach from situations and people that are no good for me. I pray every day that the Lord remove or allow me to see who and what should go for my well-being. It’s come to my attention that more and more folks are out there who live the way I had unhealed with no boundaries and the attraction magnet of toxic people or partners. Although it’s good to know that I wasn’t alone in this, it saddens me deeply that there are good people out there getting hurt and attached to the wrong people. There are people out there that I have simply detached from and still remain in their lives mainly because they quite simply put are toxic. Don’t get me wrong I don’t walk around thinking I’m better than anyone at all but my boundaries and prayers have made me so very aware of the negative, toxic, and damaging behaviors that I detach or even remove myself totally from the life of that person. It’s basically just taking a step back and evaluating the relationship itself and how it affects you and your mental health. It took me 58 years to realize I had to unlearn my thoughts about myself and take the much-needed time to heal those old wounds and traumas. At 60, I’ve learned who I am, what I want, and what I want out of a relationship, set healthy boundaries around those ideals, and not compromise those boundaries for the better good of myself and my family.
Boundaries are a must in life but so is knowing who you are and your worth! I couldn’t have boundaries until I knew myself and understood how important my self-esteem, mental health, healing, and honestly loving who I truly am. Within that context that’s where detachment is necessary, let’s say you are talking with someone with the notion of dating, and you start seeing red flags, well we have a choice here. Do we ignore those red flags? Or do we detach from this individual? I’m a firm believer nowadays to detach and move on!!!! I, in the past, ignored every single red flag and ended up marrying these people like I loved the circus. Yes, I make jokes about it all. Might as well. There are just certain things that I refuse to tolerate in my life anymore and if it means I’m single for the rest of my life so be it. I would much rather be single and loving life than in another horrid marriage or relationship where I sacrifice my dignity, mental health, or my safety.
So, if you are or plan to get into the dating world or have those folks in your life that strain your mental health. I urge you to heal, know yourself and love yourself, set healthy boundaries, and tolerate nothing that undermines your self-worth.
I’m so very grateful for you on this healing journey with me and I pray that we can heal and thrive together.