Expectations. We all have them. For me the definition of expectation is setting someone or something up for failure. Especially if we have the mindset that someone or something should do for us. If we are honest here, we especially have them when it comes to our relationships and holidays such as Valentine’s Day. Over the years of being trauma bonded I would absolutely hate the dreaded Valentines’ Day when all the other women were getting flowers at work or get taken out for a special night. Now that I have been healing, single, and loving life, I see so many expectations that I, myself, and so many others place on our significant others and on this particular day. I personally believe that in a true relationship that showing love and giving flowers or trinkets should be all through the year. Love is not just a feeling but an action that requires daily giving. The idea behind this is a simple one. When you think of your loved one say it send a message or send flowers, buy a card, or find some inexpensive something to give to say, “hey you are on my mind, and I love you” Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a prepayment for the whole year, and you don’t show love or affection for the rest of the year. Our love and blessings should be given and received all 365 days of the year. Now for us single folks… well we can buy ourselves flowers, yes, I am now signing the Miley Cyrus song! Oh the lyrics and songs. My coworkers are always in for a treat when the songs hit. And for all the men folk out there you can but yourselves tools, fishing lures and whatever else you want. But not just for that one day that’s just part of self-love and self-care buy and do things for yourself because you want to and love yourself. The expectation or thought process that you have to have someone to do these things for you is just plain wrong in my opinion. I’ve said this over and over again, but I love my life, myself, and do not need a man to make me happy. I can make myself happy and live a full complete life. Folks, no one’s love will compare to the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. NONE. I can assure you that when and if, I find the right man for me it won’t be because I need someone to complete me; it will be because I want him in my life to enhance and add to my happy life not to take away from my happiness. I’ve heard so many men and women state that they need a person to complete them, just not so folks. The only thing a person needs is a personal relationship with Jesus and knowing your true worth that our creator gave us. It’s so sad to watch these folks searching for men and women with that intent to complete them. I was one of those for a lifetime. Lifelong codependency had me searching for love in all the wrong places (again singing the song) and for all the wrong reasons. During this time of healing, I dropped all expectations, including those of myself and others. Stopped the comparison trap of comparing my life to others and honestly just became grateful for the opportunity to be happy and most importantly my authentic self. This Valentine’s Day I will buy my own flowers, talk and I’m sure sing to myself, and most of all BE HAPPY with myself. I challenge you guys to do the same. I’m so glad you are with me on this journey. Until next time, I pray blessings for you.
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